After being off work the first week, my prayers and quite time with the LORD have become much deeper. Despite that fact or maybe because of that fact, I was gasping for air as I found myself traveling into the recesses of this inner space. The reality of loneliness is unbearable there. The waves of it were sweeping over me and I was being tumbled around like sand in the surf. Although I didn't know it at the time, it seems my very soul and spirit were awaking, desperate to be set free. It felt as if I were great bird trying to stretch open its wings so as to feel the air lift it high above the Earth, but instead, felt the bars of a cage that held it in solitude.
How does one really do this, get free from behind the wall you yourself have built? I was painfully aware that it was I that had mixed the mortar that held each brick in it's distinct position. I didn't realize the height nor the width that had been laid until now. Can hope and hopelessness exist at the same time? The battle for air is strong as we by nature want to survive. This was no mere struggle for air; it was the intended work of the creator, my savior, my LORD Jesus Christ.
Although this work is not precipitated by the doings of man; it does require 20-30 seconds of courage; the complete and utter abandonment of self in order to step forward.
Yours always,
Elizabeth Antonnette
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